It's hard to believe that this summer is nearly over. While part of me longs for lazy days and time to watch as many "Say Yes to the Dress'' re-runs as I possibly can, I recognize that every season is good, and every season must come to a close. And it just so happens that I really love fall :)
Recently I participated in a mission trip in my area with my church and an out-of-state sister church. God completely took me by surprise as I learned things vastly different than those I originally expected to learn. I assumed God would work in a pretty predictable way--you know, give me a greater passion to spread His word, and a boldness to talk to others who are caught up in the empty religions of today. Instead, I learned what a wimpy Christian I am, as opposed to some "super, all-trusting-no-matter-what" one that people write books about. I lost my liscence in the middle of the week for a whole day, and drove in fear of the po-po's the whole time. As a side note, I'm kind of silly when it comes to difficult situations, because my bad mood and lack of faith in God causes me to feel sorry for myself and miserable about other totally-non-related aspects of my life. For example, I lost my liscence and all of a sudden I had no friends, I doubted God's faithfulness, goodness, and even presence, and lost all my joy. How shallow can I be!? So it was a good wake-up call for me to see that while I may think I am prepared for the worst in my life, I have a long way to go. Losing an important-but-replaceable belonging was just the spark of what I hope God will use to be a lesson of great importance in my life.
The mission team also went to a very dark, sin-infested area of town one night to observe the goings-on of my area at their worst. I had been to that area of town before, but not with eyes opened to the demonism and worship of false gods rampant throughout the festivities. It made me sick, sad, helpless, and hopeless to see such a large group of people so lost in their obsession over the earth, music, and even themselves. I wanted to scream, cry, something! But they were so caught up in their seemingly innocent dance and song that I felt I had no power to help them. They wouldn't even listen to me. Just like the dwarves in The Last Battle by C.S Lewis, or children who do not understand one's motives when one denies them something appealing, but deathly.
I had seen this before, but had not perceived it as what it was. And it shocked me. It really shouldn't have, but it shocked me. Growing up Christian I have lived in a bubble, and even known it, but when exposed to a portion of the greater percentage of the world, that is, the pagan one, I was overwhelmed. But I had no need to be! Jesus is the same victorious, all-powerful God that He was before I was exposed to such darkness, and His promises of triumph and hope are just as true now as they always were. I simply have a better perspective now for the world I am dealing with and how insignificant I am. But that's good. In the words of Arlo and Janis "Ever notice the best moments make you feel insignificant?" http://vimeo.com/9450037 (28 min.)
Also through events I will not take the time to describe, my distaste for highschool relationships has hereby been reinforced. I hope to never look at another boy again until I'm 25. (unless of course he's a bro from another mo ;] )
And that's all that comes to mind right now! So tired...must sleep... It's been a good week :) Here's to savoring the last morsels of summer.
I think I might take a picture every day of the school year (as opposed to blogging, since that would take more time.) Hm....
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